I am not my hair!!

While I do love being natural and I think my hair is great I have learned that just as simply as I have a good hair day I can have a bad. And just like my hair grows one day through some traumatic event or just old age it can stop growing. My hair does not define me, it doesn't make me any doper than what I already am, my personality has not all of a sudden changed because I decided to stop relaxing it. I'm still the same, high-maintenance, somewhat neurotic, demanding, loyal and loving, crazy girl!!! So these are some misconceptions people have had of me in the few months I've been wearing my hair natural, I find it funny so I decided to share.
1) No I do not recite poetry. The Man up above did not bless me with the gift of spoken word and while I do write ALOT!! It's for my eyes only.
2) No I don't no where to find that good, matter of fact can you tell me, because I have no connects whatsoever.
3) Please I pray to Jesus above, stop asking me when I'm going to loc my hair. The answer will be never!!! I liken that to someone asking me when I was going to get a perm when I was wearing a relaxer. And not that anything is wrong with locs I just don't want them.
4) My political views still have not changed. I'm still a relatively conservative, sorry.
5) I do not make my own jewelry, candles, shoes or whatever. See number one, the Lord didn't bless me with the gift of creativity.
6) When I straighten my hair temporarily I am not being a traitor to my race. I just wanted a change can a sister be allowed to switch it up, shit I'm not trying to pass I think my brown skin is a dead giveaway.
7) Just because I wear a wig does not mean I am bald head and I hate my hair it just mean I wanted a temporary change.
8) I am not hating on you because your hair is straight and swinging in the wind. I don't hate on people it's stupid, I mean my hair swings in the wind too, just don't run your finger through it may get tangled in there.
9) Just because my hair changed doesn't mean my taste in men has. I still like them how I liked them before.
10) Last but certainly not least, get you damn hands out of my hair!!!! I am not a fur baby!!! I know it looks like a bush of thistles and you are surprised at how soft it is, but please keep your paws out of my hair before you draw back a nub!!!
So that's it!!! People hold too much value in hair, it's just freaking hair. If you want to press it, perm it, relax it, dye it, wig it, weave it, twist it, loc it, or just rock it how it in a fro do you!!! My only concession is you do it well!!! Peace and blessings

The start of breaking the cycle

Two or three years ago I told myself I would never deal with foolishness from a man ever again. I had had such a horrible experience with my ex, was through being a fool for love. I realized that at some point I had to love myself more than the situation, more than him, more than us. So I let him go truly and it was the hardest thing I had encountered at the time. I cried every night for weeks. For years I had let the relationship tear me down, his constant cheating made me question myself and my worth. What about me wasn’t good enough that he wouldn’t want to faithful to me. Was I not pretty enough? Was I too mean? Did I not smile enough? Or maybe my butt and hips weren’t round enough? Maybe I should have cooked for him that last time I was there, then maybe he wouldn’t have liked for the other one to do it? Was I not good enough to have a man of my own, one that would love me and only me. Then one day I realized I was worthy after years of comparing myself to women, I realized it had nothing to do with me, it was him. And even though I loved him, he wasn’t the one for me. I deserved more than just being number 1 on his totem pole of hoes. I deserved to be his only. So why am I letting history repeat itself? Why am I allowing myself to be one of many? I know the answer and it hurts to even admit it, but it’s so simple that it should be fixed, but so complicated that a band-aid is not enough to begin the process of healing. However slowly but surely I’m breaking my cycle of insanity.

The hair up there

October is halway here. I've continued this cycle of being in these crazy relationships. But that is unimportant right now, I don't want to focus on the negative today, it is saturday, I like to reserve being a Debbie Downer to the weekdays.



Right now what has been keeping me occupied and quite intrigued with myself is my hair. I've been natural since June I believe and I love it. I've been experimenting with natural styles. Right now I'm rocking a bad ass twist out.



I find it quite interesting how me being natural inspires other people to try to be natural or just be comfortable with themselves. Most people think that natural hair is ugly and not sexy, but when they see me I change their mind. They may still think that they couldn't pull it off, but I tell them all the time I felt that way until one day I said screw it and just went for it, if they like it on me they will probably like it on them. Women can be beautiful no matter what hairstyle they are rocking.