So I've been meaning to write this note for quite some time. In my many years as a single woman and my many, many, many dysfunctional relationships I have acquired a good bit of knowledge. I decided to write this note as some tips for dating in the cold, mean world. Just so you know dating is different than being in a relationship and another note is half of this shit I haven't done, I've done the opposite and I'm not guaranteeing I'm going to do any of it now. I'm just being honest, lol. Anyways here it goes.
1) The first rule I learned in the dating world is to date the dateable. That means no married men, no men with girlfriends, no men with children under the age of one. That should be pretty self explanatory if it's not I can explain further.
2) Until you are in a real, committed, monogamous relationship do not put all your eggs in one basket.
3) Date around, nothing is wrong with dating a couple of men at a time. Men do it all the time and it seems to work for them. Dating to get into a relationship is kind of like buying a house, very rarely will your dream house will be the first house you see, you have to search around, it's a frustrating process and sometimes it can be hella long, but if buying a house is what you want the process is worth it. This brings me to my other point.
4) Know your negotiables...Meaning what are you willing to compromise. Are you willing to compromise a physical aspect for a financial aspect? Are you willing to overlook the face because the body is nice? Are you willing to overlook the fact that he doesn't have a car and lives at home with his momma because he treats you well? Or are you willing to hold out until the perfect house comes along? Etc.
5) Know your worth, simple to say hard to do
6) It's ok to have standards, especially when they are reasonable but don't use it as a complete guide. Don't make a list of everything you want in a man and if he is missing one you x him off, you could really miss out on a good guy if you cut him off because his toes aren’t straight and you wanted a man with straight toes. I’m just saying.
7) If you don’t really like him, tell him that so he can move on. You wouldn’t like if he did that to you so don’t do that to him.
8)) Always remember that men are simple creatures, they may lie but their actions will
show how they truly feel or they will show you how they feel and they will lie. Pay attention to how he treats you. Follow your intuition, mine has never been wrong, even when I wanted it to be.
9) Always remember that you are just dating, he is not your man and you are not his
woman. Don’t be "faithful" to someone you are just dating that’s a recipe for disaster. Until you two have agreed upon exclusivity you are still single. So act single. I don’t care how many times he tells you he loves you, how many times he tells you “you’re the best I ever had”, how often he takes you out, whether you met his mama and em’. If y’all haven’t agreed to be exclusive he is probably biding his time until "the one" comes along. Or he's lonely and you are convenient vagina. You are not his woman so don’t treat him like he is your man.
10) Remember that rules are meant to be broken BUT there are very few exceptions
to the rules so when you break them be ready for it not to work. I’m a firm believer in having hope but I also believe that you must have a realistic view of life and love. Take off the rose colored glasses so when you get your ass handed to you, you can at least brace yourself for the crash.
Well that’s all. I told y’all I’m probably not going to do any of these things. I’m a classic number 10 however. Hope y’all enjoyed it.
