No I'm not pregnant, No I don't have any kids, but I don't know what inspired me to write this "letter" I think the a thread on DDM inspired me. But I wrote it and I have it saved to every email and I really do plan on giving it to my baby girl, if I ever have one. I think girls need to know they are loved. But anyway, here it is.
Dear my love, my heart, my everything, my baby girl,
You aren’t even here yet, hell you aren’t even a twinkle in my eye just yet, but I am writing you this letter because I love you already. God hasn’t even given you to me yet and I love you. I wish so much for you, if I could give you the sun and the stars and sun I would, but I can’t. What I will give you are lessons my mother taught me and lessons other women have taught me.
I pray your grandparents are here to see you and doth on you and give you the wisdom I don’t have quite yet. I pray that you know the wonders of a close knit family the way I have. I pray you never fear your intelligence; it’s ok to be smart and be a girl, it’s ok to be smarter than the boys. It’s ok to run faster, to play harder, be taller, be bigger, be brighter than your male counterparts, and never dumb yourself down for anyone. Always let your light shine, because my dear, your light will shine bright. I pray you learn to never fear being different, be who you are, I will love always love you, your family will always love you and there are people that will love you as you are. I pray you know a daddy’s love the way I do, that he treats you like his little princess no matter how old you are and I pray that you hold that standard to the men you choose to let into your life. I pray that I can teach you the value of you, your body is priceless, you are priceless, you can’t be bought, don’t use it as a bargaining chip. Always treat it as a temple. I pray that you never experience the heartache I have, but if you do, I pray that you are stronger than me, that you know you are worth more, that you don’t deal with the disrespect, that you let him go when he has hurt you. I pray that you never become “d**kmatized”, lol, there is so much more to life. I pray you know that you know you are worth more than being second, third fourth, to a man. You are worth being a one and only. I pray you love a man that’s worth loving and you never love him more than yourself. I pray that you can have loving relationships with women outside of family, nothing is wrong with forging strong relationships with other women. I pray that I will be able to love you and guide you better than my mother. And not because I think that she has done a bad job but just because I feel each generation should be an improvement on the last. I pray you are smarter, stronger, wiser, and happier than me. I pray your father and I actually marry and stay together and show you what a loving, healthy relationship should beI pray that you know God. I pray you are healthy. All of these things I want for you and many more that I haven’t listed. I don’t even know you, I’m not ready to be your mom right now, I wouldn’t be effective in trying to teach you the lessons of life but I can’t wait to meet you. I love you.
Forever and Always,
Your biggest fan, your constant cheerleader, your strongest supporter, your future Mommy!!! :)
Friday, May 8, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Dating tips you should follow that I myself haven't, lol.
So I've been meaning to write this note for quite some time. In my many years as a single woman and my many, many, many dysfunctional relationships I have acquired a good bit of knowledge. I decided to write this note as some tips for dating in the cold, mean world. Just so you know dating is different than being in a relationship and another note is half of this shit I haven't done, I've done the opposite and I'm not guaranteeing I'm going to do any of it now. I'm just being honest, lol. Anyways here it goes.
1) The first rule I learned in the dating world is to date the dateable. That means no married men, no men with girlfriends, no men with children under the age of one. That should be pretty self explanatory if it's not I can explain further.
2) Until you are in a real, committed, monogamous relationship do not put all your eggs in one basket.
3) Date around, nothing is wrong with dating a couple of men at a time. Men do it all the time and it seems to work for them. Dating to get into a relationship is kind of like buying a house, very rarely will your dream house will be the first house you see, you have to search around, it's a frustrating process and sometimes it can be hella long, but if buying a house is what you want the process is worth it. This brings me to my other point.
4) Know your negotiables...Meaning what are you willing to compromise. Are you willing to compromise a physical aspect for a financial aspect? Are you willing to overlook the face because the body is nice? Are you willing to overlook the fact that he doesn't have a car and lives at home with his momma because he treats you well? Or are you willing to hold out until the perfect house comes along? Etc.
5) Know your worth, simple to say hard to do
6) It's ok to have standards, especially when they are reasonable but don't use it as a complete guide. Don't make a list of everything you want in a man and if he is missing one you x him off, you could really miss out on a good guy if you cut him off because his toes aren’t straight and you wanted a man with straight toes. I’m just saying.
7) If you don’t really like him, tell him that so he can move on. You wouldn’t like if he did that to you so don’t do that to him.
8)) Always remember that men are simple creatures, they may lie but their actions will
show how they truly feel or they will show you how they feel and they will lie. Pay attention to how he treats you. Follow your intuition, mine has never been wrong, even when I wanted it to be.
9) Always remember that you are just dating, he is not your man and you are not his
woman. Don’t be "faithful" to someone you are just dating that’s a recipe for disaster. Until you two have agreed upon exclusivity you are still single. So act single. I don’t care how many times he tells you he loves you, how many times he tells you “you’re the best I ever had”, how often he takes you out, whether you met his mama and em’. If y’all haven’t agreed to be exclusive he is probably biding his time until "the one" comes along. Or he's lonely and you are convenient vagina. You are not his woman so don’t treat him like he is your man.
10) Remember that rules are meant to be broken BUT there are very few exceptions
to the rules so when you break them be ready for it not to work. I’m a firm believer in having hope but I also believe that you must have a realistic view of life and love. Take off the rose colored glasses so when you get your ass handed to you, you can at least brace yourself for the crash.
Well that’s all. I told y’all I’m probably not going to do any of these things. I’m a classic number 10 however. Hope y’all enjoyed it.
1) The first rule I learned in the dating world is to date the dateable. That means no married men, no men with girlfriends, no men with children under the age of one. That should be pretty self explanatory if it's not I can explain further.
2) Until you are in a real, committed, monogamous relationship do not put all your eggs in one basket.
3) Date around, nothing is wrong with dating a couple of men at a time. Men do it all the time and it seems to work for them. Dating to get into a relationship is kind of like buying a house, very rarely will your dream house will be the first house you see, you have to search around, it's a frustrating process and sometimes it can be hella long, but if buying a house is what you want the process is worth it. This brings me to my other point.
4) Know your negotiables...Meaning what are you willing to compromise. Are you willing to compromise a physical aspect for a financial aspect? Are you willing to overlook the face because the body is nice? Are you willing to overlook the fact that he doesn't have a car and lives at home with his momma because he treats you well? Or are you willing to hold out until the perfect house comes along? Etc.
5) Know your worth, simple to say hard to do
6) It's ok to have standards, especially when they are reasonable but don't use it as a complete guide. Don't make a list of everything you want in a man and if he is missing one you x him off, you could really miss out on a good guy if you cut him off because his toes aren’t straight and you wanted a man with straight toes. I’m just saying.
7) If you don’t really like him, tell him that so he can move on. You wouldn’t like if he did that to you so don’t do that to him.
8)) Always remember that men are simple creatures, they may lie but their actions will
show how they truly feel or they will show you how they feel and they will lie. Pay attention to how he treats you. Follow your intuition, mine has never been wrong, even when I wanted it to be.
9) Always remember that you are just dating, he is not your man and you are not his
woman. Don’t be "faithful" to someone you are just dating that’s a recipe for disaster. Until you two have agreed upon exclusivity you are still single. So act single. I don’t care how many times he tells you he loves you, how many times he tells you “you’re the best I ever had”, how often he takes you out, whether you met his mama and em’. If y’all haven’t agreed to be exclusive he is probably biding his time until "the one" comes along. Or he's lonely and you are convenient vagina. You are not his woman so don’t treat him like he is your man.
10) Remember that rules are meant to be broken BUT there are very few exceptions
to the rules so when you break them be ready for it not to work. I’m a firm believer in having hope but I also believe that you must have a realistic view of life and love. Take off the rose colored glasses so when you get your ass handed to you, you can at least brace yourself for the crash.
Well that’s all. I told y’all I’m probably not going to do any of these things. I’m a classic number 10 however. Hope y’all enjoyed it.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
The seasons of life
I tend to spend alot of time by myself, I think it's because I'm single and also because I enjoy not being around people and being clouded with their thoughts. It's during these times of isolation that I think ALOT!! I probably think too much, well one afternoon I was enjoying lunch at one of my favorite local spots, when I walked in there the sun was shining bright and as quickly as I can say BANANA it started to rain. This reminded me much of my life and the life of others. Things can be going so good and then BAM, ligthning flashes and the shit hits the fan. I always have to remind myself that the rain will not last forever, even if it last for a long time, months, years, whatever, the clouds will go away and the sun will shine. But this also means that the sun cannot shine all the time either. Beautiful weather is not going to be around 24/7 365 days a year. So you may be having perfect spring weather for months but be prepared for a drizzle or a monsoon. Understanding that no experience in life is constant, that no feeling in life will be forever helps put things in perspective and also helps you make the best out of a situation. Rainy days can be beautiful, I have come up with some of my best poems when I am at my lowest point. I appreciate my life the most when I've been crying for hours or days. And when the weather is beautiful, I appreciate it, I love it and I don't take it for granted. So remember y'all that nothing is forever, no feeling is constant, all good things come to an end, but all bad things end too, make the best of it and be grateful for life and it's beauty.
Friday, February 13, 2009
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!!
Valentine's Day is approaching fast and by fast I mean tomorrow. I know it can be somewhat of a sour day for us single folks but it doesn't have to be. I have spent pretty much every Valentine's Day alone and I have always enjoyed myself. I believe Valentine's day can include your loved ones, such as family and friends, not just those you have romantic feelings for. So I make sure I spend time or call those that are near and dear. Just because you don't have a "Valentine" doesn't mean it's the end of the world, go out with friends or family, or go out by yourself to a place you know too many people won't be "boo'ed" up, like a dive bar. LOL!! Well anyway I hope you all enjoy your Valentine's Day and remember that even if you don't have a significant other you are still loved by many!!!
-Peace and Blessings
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Having a bad hair week!!!
Oh my hair has been trippin' lately. It's like no matter what style I try it looks a mess. I'm actually ok with it looking a mess but I miss when I was having good hair days for weeks at a time. I tried two-strand twist a couple weeks back, they looked a mess...I tried flat twist to the back on dry hair, I put entirely too much coconut oil on my hair, and my hair looked a greasy mess...I tried finger coils and the right side of my head looked so cute but the left side was on some other ish...it looked a mess. I'm tired of wigs, I'm tired of puffs, I'm tired of my failed attempts at styling my hair. I think I'm going to attempt my afro again, it came out so great that one time let's see if lightning can strike twice. I added a pic of it the cute fro...Let's hope I can duplicate it.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
2009 Resolutions
Yeah, yeah I know this is hella late, but better late than never right?
I always have these resolutions that I never ever follow through on, but I have decided to really be dedicated to taking care of myself and my feelings. Normally I put everyone and their wants and needs ahead of mine and while nothing is wrong with that, I have done it to the detriment of my spirit, which has been in a state of chaos for the last couple of years. I have all these big hopes and dreams for myself and my relationships. But how can I expect anyone to love me correctly when I don’t love myself, or how can I expect people to follow through on their promises when I can’t even do what I promised myself.
So the obvious one is to take care of myself. That means working out, eating healthily, meditating, praying, etc.
To practice the Law of Attraction consistently…It really works and when I was on it and practicing everyday, it helped me out so much.
I would like to go out socially at least twice a month, whether it be with friends or by myself. I spend a lot of time alone and I enjoy my own company but I need to get out meet some new people and have fun with the friends I already have.
Nurture the friendships I do have. Sometimes I can isolate myself from those that I love. Typical of me when I’m having man problems, money problems, family problems whatever. I followed the mantra that I came here alone and I will die alone, but I have realized that doesn’t mean I have to spend my life alone. I’m going to try to be a better friend, less selfish, more compassionate.
Develop my relationship with God, I wondered what was lacking in my life the most and truly this is it. I have slacked seriously.
Stop feeling guilty about the mistakes I have made… I truly have to forgive myself for my past and because I haven’t it affects me and how I feel about myself.
And last but not least stay FOCUSED on my goals, which I will list at a later time.
I always have these resolutions that I never ever follow through on, but I have decided to really be dedicated to taking care of myself and my feelings. Normally I put everyone and their wants and needs ahead of mine and while nothing is wrong with that, I have done it to the detriment of my spirit, which has been in a state of chaos for the last couple of years. I have all these big hopes and dreams for myself and my relationships. But how can I expect anyone to love me correctly when I don’t love myself, or how can I expect people to follow through on their promises when I can’t even do what I promised myself.
So the obvious one is to take care of myself. That means working out, eating healthily, meditating, praying, etc.
To practice the Law of Attraction consistently…It really works and when I was on it and practicing everyday, it helped me out so much.
I would like to go out socially at least twice a month, whether it be with friends or by myself. I spend a lot of time alone and I enjoy my own company but I need to get out meet some new people and have fun with the friends I already have.
Nurture the friendships I do have. Sometimes I can isolate myself from those that I love. Typical of me when I’m having man problems, money problems, family problems whatever. I followed the mantra that I came here alone and I will die alone, but I have realized that doesn’t mean I have to spend my life alone. I’m going to try to be a better friend, less selfish, more compassionate.
Develop my relationship with God, I wondered what was lacking in my life the most and truly this is it. I have slacked seriously.
Stop feeling guilty about the mistakes I have made… I truly have to forgive myself for my past and because I haven’t it affects me and how I feel about myself.
And last but not least stay FOCUSED on my goals, which I will list at a later time.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Curls Whipped Cream
This is my first product review so bare with me, please.
Curls Whipped Cream as described by the makers is ideal for 3c-4b hair. This product smells wonderful and it has a very light texture. When I first bought it I used it how the site instructed. I would apply the Quenched Curls Mosturizer ( I will add a review about that soon) then put in the Curls Whipped Cream, to be honest I didn't like the results. For my hair Curls Whipped Cream is not ideal for a wash and go but I like to use it for my twist and set styles. It gives great hold and my twistouts are really soft. I don't believe in wasting products so I will continue to use it until I run out but I'm not quite sure I will buy it again, for the price I paid for one jar of Whipped Cream I could buy two jars of Fantasia IC gel, which essentially does the same thing. But I don't feel like I wasted my money and I am happy I tried this product. The ingredients are listed below and as you can see the ingredients they are delicious!!!
Ingredients: Purified Water, Certified Organic Sunflower Oil, Certified Organic Aloe Vera Leaf Juice, Cocoa Butter, Polyimide-1, Glyercin, Certified Organic Coconut Oil, Certified Organic Sweet Almond Oil, * Gardenia Essential Oil, Tahitian Coconut Oil, Grape Seed Oil, Wheat Germ Oil, Avocado Oil, Plumeria Oil, Olive Oil, Sodium Carbomer, Centillica Asiatica, Panthenol, Octyl Palmitate, Polysorbate-80, Soy Tocopherols, Phenoxyethanol, Ethyl Hexyl Glyercin, Fragrance.
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